Apology without accountability, amends without boundaries.

cw: addiction, manipulation, suicide

It’s taken me over a week since the second special episode aired to process and get to the writing-point, so you’ve had ample time to watch, but in case it needs to be said: SPOILERS AHEAD.

Co-written by Hunter Schafer and Sam Levinson and filmed in our new COVID world, this special episode of Euphoria centers Jules’s character in the painfully vulnerable, honest way that few other shows manage as well as Euphoria. A large part of the episode is a long, beautifully acted therapy session between Jules and her new therapist. There are heart-rending moments…


this is the story of how he almost broke me, and to this day i don’t know why.

a collage of back to back gchats, a whiskey on a window ledge at mimi’s, and the tarot card the page of cups reversed.
a collage of back to back gchats, a whiskey on a window ledge at mimi’s, and the tarot card the page of cups reversed.

cw: alcoholism, gaslighting

somehow, after working hard to avoid dating men, i ended up matching with a cute boy from boston who was moving to new orleans at the end of the month.

he was a libra, like my father, and he too was quick and charming to a fault, with sparkling eyes and just the right amount of mischief. i felt my resolve softening despite (or because of) my father’s precedent. he kindled an old, stubborn, flickering hope. …


and I will treat my uncle like my grandfather treated her.

My grandfather worked for banks in Manhattan in the Mad Men era. This was never easier for me to imagine than when I listened to him tell stories. You could almost see the dirty vodka martini in his hand. All charm and mischief, his eyes gave away that there was something juicy coming. His big Brooklyn voice rising and falling, modulating to impersonate his characters and often his own conscience, he held the room with ease. …


How Zendaya, Colman Domingo, and Sam Levinson made me call my father.

Zendaya is shown with a tear on her face. Euphoria is written in large letters.
Zendaya is shown with a tear on her face. Euphoria is written in large letters.

cw: addition

My cousin, a brilliant singer and aspiring drag icon, refuses to sing “Ave Maria” at weddings, knowing, as he does, what the latin lyrics are: a cry to the blessed mother “at the hour of our death,” a final plea to a higher power.

It’s also the final song of “Trouble Don’t Last Always,” the hour long episode of the not-a-new-season season of “Euphoria.” …


A sunset of pink and grey at the horizon in a light blue sky. a shadow of a water tower, electrical poles / wires, & a street
A sunset of pink and grey at the horizon in a light blue sky. a shadow of a water tower, electrical poles / wires, & a street

If a school doesn’t reduce harm for its teachers or its students, what good is it?

I have had the rare and beautiful experience of being in the right place, at the right time, with the right people to create a true community. to be sure, nothing was perfect, but everyone cared for each other. It feels almost like magic, like destiny, like what we dream of when we dream of family. It is consuming and you have to remind yourself to take care of yourself, but things you know you couldn’t do on your own begin to happen. There is a generative static electricity in the air. The tide lifts all boats and there’s enough…


i’m katie wills evans, an educator, writer, and general internet delinquent. i spent my twenties trying to fit the ableist, capitalist, heteropatriarchal mold and trying to get a diagnosis. currently, i’m operating under the diagnoses of C-PTSD, fibromyalgia, and asthma with a side of post-COVID symptoms. more honestly, i’m trying to undo and live with what has happened to my body and my mind after two and a half decades of constant stimulus and stress punctuated by surviving acute traumatic events.

i’m privileged to finally have (relative) financial stability, meds that help more than they hurt, and consistent therapeutic support…


time feels so different now than it did then. looser, more arbitrary, less stringent. but back then it mattered. so i’ll tell you this story as closely as i can to the way it used to go.

march eleventh: the official word was that rona wasn’t a threat, but cardi had warned us all already. one of my kids had started replacing handshakes with “foot daps.” i leaned on a counter in the 8th ward joking with friends about how fucked we all were and how america stays being late on everything. we lost our shit when we saw the…


like a lot of people my age, i’m a huge gen z fan. i’ve worked in high schools for ten years, so i’ve seen y’all up close. you have always impressed and amazed me.

i’m a millennial, but that word has been used to mean so many things that it means nothing now. what i mean is this:

i was born the year the reagan presidency ended. i remember the y2k panic from the perspective of an aware but confused ten-year-old. i watched thousands of people die in a sixth grade classroom and panicked about my uncle who worked in…


banner reading “much to be done & undone by @rayoandhoney hangs from a sconce with an orange bulb next to a plant.
banner reading “much to be done & undone by @rayoandhoney hangs from a sconce with an orange bulb next to a plant.

banner is @rayoandhoney on instagram

disclaimer: this piece is about harm reduction amidst a global trauma and is written from the perspective of a white queer american woman with plenty privilege being gaslit daily by all facets of her government and culture. it represents my opinions only. i am sure there are things i didn’t think of. i gratefully welcome thoughts & feedback.

i want to start by acknowledging my fellow C-PTSD comrades. i know how disorienting it is to be thrown back into a 24/7 whole body & mind trauma. still, i only know what it’s like to go through this in my stage…


** this piece is a response to @traumaandco ‘s chronic illness three week writing session:

day one

what if it wasn’t all in your head, but exquisitely and devastatingly alive and living deep in your bones?

count the rings of a tree and look at their width to see how many droughts it has survived. observe the number of spot dappled fawns born in a season to see how lush the forest is that season, how many the predators are. watch sunflowers turn towards each other instead to see if there is enough sunlight.

each day i live on…

katie wills evans

educator and writer who is most interested in freedom dreams. i hope this work is useful.

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